Have you ever done something and while you were doing it, you were in a surreal moment that felt like you were on the outside looking in? That happened to me yesterday while I was getting a routine highlight done at a snazzy little place in Kansas City. I mentioned I was stuck in a rut and needed a change to jolt me back to reality. Let's just say I walked in as a blonde with longish hair and I walked out a short haired brunette with red highlights. I have had short hair before. Notice my attractive picture to the right. I can't give my mother all of the credit for the stylish haircut though. I distinctly remember hiding in my bedroom with a pair of scissors and when I was called to lunch shoving handfuls of hair under the bed thinking no one would be the wiser when I came out! Unfortunatley, my First Grade school picture day was soon after my handiwork. So, bless my Mom's heart, she added her skills to mine and voila! Even though yesterday was with a trained professional, my heart is skipping a beat as I wake up on this new day and catch my reflection. I hope today as I walk out my door that I embrace my 6 year old self and smile like everything is perfectly normal.
Well, we did it. We moved our two youngest to San Diego, California. The land of Endless Sunshine and Infinite Dreams. With a trailer crammed to the brim, four weighted down vehicles, 3 dogs, 2 boyfriends and one sad momma we headed west for our 1000 mile plus trip. It was something I dreaded doing. The closer we got to the California border, the bigger their smiles were getting, which in turn made me smile through my streaming salty tears. The first night in San Diego we went to Sunset Cliffs in Ocean Beach to see the sun set. It was a beautiful sight. We of course took many pictures. A few days later I looked at the pictures we had taken. I was surprised to see how happy I looked. In fact I believe the smile on my face is the most genuine smile I have ever had in any picture, ever. I was perplexed because inside my heart was breaking. Then I realized that I was genuinely happy because I knew how happy my daughters were. And isn't that all we ever want for our children? To be truely happy. I think that is the greatest gift a Mom could ever ask for. If I knew how fast my kids were going to grow up I would have done things differently. I would have held them on my lap more. I would have tucked them in bed and lingered longer just to be near them. I would have taken the time to play and be silly and not feel so rushed to get things done that could have waited. It is true when they say in childhood the days are long but the years are short. How I long for those long crazy days that I thought would never end.
I'm lucky to have found a person to spend my life with that loves and believes in me. He must be a special man because I am quirky, unorganized & think my cluttered thoughts aloud to him on a regular basis.